Blog Post #2: Communication really is key...

My first Chat Cafe meeting was game-changing in my eyes. I began the session with one goal in mind: to make these students feel as if this session was truly "theirs". I think that social dilemmas often stem from feelings of being on the outside looking in. My inclusive efforts are an attempt to disuade fears of rejection and trouble communicating. I want my fellow students to view our meetings as a time to catch up with friends who accept them wholeheartedly.

In retrospect, for some reason I was not expecting much shyness from the group. I figured that students who are willing to engage in weekly conversation with peers must be the talkative type. However, to my surprise, conversation was led by me and questions were simply answered by my group. This was not what I wanted. I had wished for the English conversation to build as I slowly became a less prominent member of the group. I wanted the students to take over. I quickly came to the conclusion that I was not going to see such an occurrence in this group because I was forgetting a crucial component to "genuine" conversation. A conversation can only be truly meaningful if those involved are evidently interested in the topic and one party can offer information regarding the issue. Without interest, a conversation falls apart. As I went around the circle of students asking them to introduce themselves and talk about why they were here, I noticed some members staring off into space. I knew what I needed to do. An effective conversation must tap into a person's mind, so I was glad I planned ahead. They really did need me.

Before our first session, I had asked each member to email me a topic or interest that they would like to discuss at future sessions. I know that passion can drive the most powerful conversations, so this is why I asked them for their input. I only got a few replies but I cherished the fact that some were eager to engage in conversation. One student had asked me to talk about greetings and making friends in the United States. This student's email struck me, as I realized how often we overlook the cultural elements in an everyday "Hey, what's up?" or a hug you give to your friend but not your lab partner with whom you spend 4 hours a week. As our conversation moved from generic to crucial issues that these students all dealt with, I noticed ears perk up and increased participation among everyone. People want to talk about themselves, about what is useful, and about what the want to know. I want my conversation group to be that outlet where my fellow students can talk to me for a fresh new perspective and find comfort in the fact that they are definitely not alone with their concerns. I have high hopes for next week.