One particularly touchy subject that continues to arise in my conversation group is the idea of the perception of students' choices by their parents. Allow me to elaborate.
During one meeting I was facilitating a midterm-themed conversation. We were discussing sources of stress in college, midterm study tactics, and overall academic rigor at the school. The conversation quickly segued into a Q&A session equal to one you would have with an academic advisor. Students would ask questions about making post-graduate decisions, like you would expect, but would follow-up with comments on how their own parents would perceive their decisions. Namely, if their parents would disapprove and, to be quite blunt, shun them. In my mind this is one of the most distinct cultural differences between American families and Asian families. There is a great emphasis on academic performance, but also an emphasis on making no decisions out of turn. Each choice seems to be pre-selected for many students. My participants highlighted the stress that this causes them.
I made an effort to tell them that, in America, it is very common to consider, first, how your decisions will affect you before you consider how they will affect your family. This isn't done to be hurtful or inconsiderate, but I believe that American culture places a strong emphasis on personal growth which, of course, starts with you. I offered this notion to them as food for thought. Perhaps a decision made in their best interest could also please their parents, especially if there could be a conversation leading to an understanding of how this decision could be feasible and beneficial. I always try my hardest, even in everyday life, to be conscious of how my words will affect others. However, I used this opportunity to exercise honesty hoping that our connection as young students could encourage explore other viewpoints without assigning "right" or "wrong" to either situation.
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