Blog Post #3

I'm a planner, and I've always been one.  You've never met a toddler who more effectively laid out his toys and organized in advance how he would play with them than I did.  When I learned to write, I became freakishly devoted to keeping to-do lists.  The night before the ACT, I sharpened a twelve-pack of Ticonderoga pencils, just in case I happened to go through eleven of them during the test.  Even writing this blog post is part of a larger schedule that I've planned out for the coming week.

What I mean to say by all of this is that winging it has never really been my thing.  When I read the comments of previous Chat Cafe facilitators, though, a seemingly constant refrain was "Don't plan too much--be flexible."  What perplexing advice, I thought.  But I figured they knew how this all worked better than I did, so I took what they said to heart.  That isn't to say that I was going to do nothing in preparation for my sessions--I don't think this is what previous facilitators meant in the first place, plus 21 year old habits die hard--but I decided I would go in willing to shift plans and adjust my expectations as necessary.

After three weeks, I think I've started to see the real benefits to doing this.  As members of my group have become more familiar with one another, it's become easier and easier to let conversation run its natural course--to let topics of discussion come from them, rather than me, and to begin talking about things deeper than where people are from and what they like to do in their free time.  Going to the Natural History Museum this past week seemed to be particularly helpful in breaking down the stiffness that has hung over our earlier sessions.  Walking around the museum allowed smaller groups to form naturally, as people with similar interests flocked to the same exhibits, and looking at all of the artifacts gave us constant inspirations for discussion.  The museum also gave people a chance to be goofier than they might be in a conversation circle; for example, every member of the group became immensely fascinated by a piece of fossilized poop, which we then talked about for ten minutes.  That was not going to happen anywhere else.

What this last session has made me realize, I think, is that my job as facilitator is not to determine the conversations that we have, but rather to put us in a position that will allow for good conversation.  Sometimes, this might involve field trips, like going to a museum; other times, it might require me to ask group members to come prepared with a question they have about UM or American life.  The great thing about this is that I do still get to plan to some extent, only it's about our venues and our icebreakers, rather than our conversations.  This way, I think I can ensure that members of my group form connections and are practicing their speaking skills while still allowing them to determine what they discuss and get from our sessions.  In any case, this is what I hope; I'm banking on being able to use my planning skills for something.