Blog Post #2 My First Chat Cafe Meeting

Last week I had my first chat cafe and it went well. I have a total of 7 participants, but three of them e-mailed me before hand and told me they couldn't make it for the first week. Four of the participants showed up and we met at the Angell Hall stairs outside. We started off with introducing ourselves and doing a "rose and thorn" of the week which left us with multiple things to branch off from and talk about. All of my participants were from different areas in China, so most of them enjoyed talking about where they were from and what similarities they had in their environments back home.

I think that most of my members were shy so it was hard to get everyone to speak equally or respond to prompts, but overall everyone contributed a good amount. I could tell that some of them were much more comfortable speaking English than the others. Our chat ended up being us discussing 3-4 different questions and each of us asked questions about each others responses. One thing that really dominated our conversation was how big UMich is and how hard it can be to get accustomed to everything here. Each person shared difficulties that they encountered/ are currently encountering. To lighten up the mood, we then talked about why we all came to Ann Arbor and what we love about the city.

I think our chat ended up being less of a conversation and more of a shared discussion on similar topics, but for the most part I think all of us were okay with this format. Everyone seemed to be engaged the whole time. At the end, we all talked about where we could meet and what kinds of fun things we can do over the semester. They mostly suggested places to drink and eat and different activities that we could all do together. I noticed that they all left together and continued talking, which made me grateful that they could get along and become friends. When I got home, I noticed that two of my participants had added me on Facebook and Instagram (which is a good thing!)

I hope that my participants enjoyed the chat and will continue to enjoy future ones! Our next chat is at a bubble tea place since many of them agreed that they would love to do that. Hopefully the rest of them go smoothly and we have more to talk about as the weeks go on!

Blog Post 2 - Conversation Approaches

The first week of conversation circles is over and I had massively different experiences in my two groups! My Tuesday group had three people show up and conversation had some issues chugging along, which didn't surprise me since it was a first meeting (as a group and for me as a facilitator) and it was a slightly small group. We did have some good conversation though, and we all left as a group still talking when our hour was up, which made me happy and feel relatively successful.

My Wednesday group was a full set of 6 plus me, and they were so talkative! I was ready to bring my A game to keep conversation flowing after the group the day before, but they took any prompt I offered and ran with it. Granted, there are a different set of issues in that group with making sure that everyone is getting a chance to speak and keeping myself aware that we were dealing with a varied skill set when it came to English levels. I think I'll have to engage each group each week with a fairly different approach, matching the obstacles facing each group in the ease and flow of conversations.

These different approaches to fostering genuine conversation between the different groups might range from putting forth a topic and encouraging the group members to engage with each other, replying to comments or posing questions about their experiences to each other rather than from me, to encouraging each person with some open ended questions to expand on their own thoughts. I'll have to keep putting in the work on my end to offer some interesting starting points, but I do think that it'll start to become more reliant on what the group as a whole is interested in, so I'm looking forward to that!

Blog Post #2

Writing this having completed my first session. It was great! My group got along as if they had known one another for ages. The conversation flowed naturally, and it seemed as if everyone left with a strong sense of excitement for the upcoming semester.

This experience is a great segue to the blog prompt for this week - what makes a "genuine" conversation? To me a genuine conversation is one that flows naturally. This type of conversation is often very candid. You say whatever comes to mind without your responses needing to be preconceived. I think that the most genuine conversations are those that arise from honesty, mutual interests, or feelings. In an effort to spark genuine conversation within my own group (this was a secret goal of mine for the term), I had them start with an activity. I gave them each a sheet of paper and had them list 3 things: something that makes them happy, what they find fun, and a long-term goal of theirs. Almost everyone shared an interest or fear (in terms of reaching goals) with someone else. Because of the mutuality, conversation was sparked immediately and did not require my facilitation at all. It was amazing to see everyone connect on such a level so early on in the term.

Blog Post #1

There's no denying it, I'm nervous.  I have no clue what to expect. I've been trying to stay away from making predictions about my group because I don't want to have any preconceived notions heading into our first group meeting. I think a key component to having a successful first meeting of any kind is to keep an open mind.  however,  I do have some concerns. In the past two classes the notion of a "bad group" keeps coming up.  What do I do if I have a bad group? and what does that even mean? I guess thats something I can't answer until i've actually met the group. I think my biggest fear is that no one will want to participate. In the past year I've been part of a public speaking club on campus called Toastmasters. Toastmasters draws a lot of international students who are looking to hone their grasp on the English language. Most international students start participating right away, however, there are a reluctant few who come week after week and barley never say anything. I hope that if I get a reluctant member that I can help transition them into the conversation.

My jitters aside I am actually very excited to start down the road of this new experience! I keep telling myself that the people who signed up fir this list are motivated individuals who just want to improve their skills. I keep telling myself that they actually want to be in this group! that being said I want to facilitate the best I can to make this group productive and memorable. I've already planned on having the first meeting in the lounge in the Michigan Union, but I'll see how everybody reacts to the environment. I have spent the past week scouring the web for ice breakers so hopefully by next friday I find the perfect one!

As I sit in my room typing this blog I can feel the excitement rushing through my body. I can't wait to meet with my group and help them get over the language barrier.

Blog Post 1--Managing the Silence

Silence.  It's a natural part of any conversation--it gives people a moment to reflect on what others have said, to collect their thoughts and provide comments of value rather than ones that simply fill the momentary stillness of the room.  In small doses, it can be a key component to getting to know someone new and learn more about their perspective.  Silence is something that we shouldn't fear, though many of us--or, at least I--do.

During my first Chat Cafe session next Friday, I have a feeling that my fear of silence will hang over my head throughout my time with my group.  When people become quiet for even a couple seconds, I worry that I will instantly jump in and try striking up a new topic to discuss.  I know myself too well to think anything else would happen--when I first meet new people, and am nervous about making a good impression and putting them at ease, I tend to speak too much.  

This isn't what I want.  Ideally, I would like to let silence hang for a little bit (perhaps eight seconds) so members of the group can have a moment to think and determine how they want to express what is going through their heads.  My hope is that during my first session, I won't be an overbearing facilitator; I would like for each individual in the group to feel that they dictate the conversations we will have as much anyone else.  

That being said, I do have some auxiliary plans in mind, just in case the first session's conversation doesn't flow organically and we have silences stretching beyond their usefulness.  I'd like for members to introduce themselves and get to know one another.  My hope is that prompting conversations about areas of study, or reasons for coming to UM, might encourage some further, less prompted conversation.  I would also like to ask members to share what their favorite place or thing to do in Ann Arbor is, as I feel this could be a good way to get an idea about places we could visit during our sessions, and could also help introduce all of us to new activities we've never done before.  Again, it would be great if these sorts of discussion helped put group members at ease with one another and made them realize some hobbies or interests they have in common.  In time, I'm hoping that our discussions will flow freely, silences won't feel burdensome, everyone will feel comfortable with one another--and though I'm sure this won't all come on day one, I'm think our first session will be a good opportunity to plant the seeds that will lead to this later on.  

Blog Post 1 - Hopes and Fears

As I mentally prepare myself for my first sessions next week, I am caught between a hyped kind of excitement and a fizzing nervousness. I really don't know what to expect (although reading the blog entries from last year did certainly help). I'm caught between wondering if I'm under preparing and I'll meet up with my group and be completely not ready to facilitate conversation or if I'll accidentally end up turning the atmosphere into a stiff classroom-like hierarchy, which I definitely don't want but can see happening-- when I get nervous I sometimes get a little more formal than I normally am, which certainly won't lead to the relaxed camaraderie that I want for the group.

Instead, I'm planning some open ended questions to start with and perhaps sticking with depending on how conversation flows in the groups and how willing the others are in picking topics to discuss. I like the idea of spending some time each session with discussing topical things (holidays, perhaps politics if it's not too divisive, etc) as well as their current struggles and triumphs with living in Ann Arbor. A friend told me about a game that he played with his roommates every night called rose/thorn/bud, where every person went around and said something positive that had happened (their rose), something negative that had happened (their thorn), and something that they were looking forward to (their bud). I think this might be a nice way to not only get to know each other, but to encourage the group to open up about how they're doing and give opportunities to support each other some. I'll have to see how this goes though. I think one of my struggles might be in being flexible in how I facilitate and thinking of alternatives when something isn't really taking hold like I want it to.

Ultimately, though, I just really want my group to enjoy themselves. I think getting to know other people, especially from cultures that are not the ones we were born into, is just exciting, and it should be a time of positivity and sharing and growth. I really hope that I can provide that atmosphere for my groups!!

Blog post #1

As our first facilitation session nears, I'm getting very excited! I'm really looking forward to being able to meet new people with experiences that are different from mine and to be able to connect with them. I know that when I first started at UMich, I would've greatly benefitted from a group like this. I was always looking for a group of experienced people that could give me advice or simply talk to me about what being at UMich was like. I hope that I can be that for this group of people.

After reading blog posts from previous facilitators, I'm a little nervous about attendance and engagement in the sessions. In a perfect world, I would have a group of people who are as excited and enthusiastic about our weekly chats as I am. But, I know that for some people this may not be their cup of tea, or that life happens and sometimes we get caught up in other priorities and commitments.

Overall, I'm super excited to be able to engage with people and to be able to help in any way that I can. I joined this program with the hopes that I could learn more about the world through people and be able to do the same for others. I hope to be someone that these students can rely on and simply unwind with at the end of a long week or day.