Blog Post 1--Managing the Silence

Silence.  It's a natural part of any conversation--it gives people a moment to reflect on what others have said, to collect their thoughts and provide comments of value rather than ones that simply fill the momentary stillness of the room.  In small doses, it can be a key component to getting to know someone new and learn more about their perspective.  Silence is something that we shouldn't fear, though many of us--or, at least I--do.

During my first Chat Cafe session next Friday, I have a feeling that my fear of silence will hang over my head throughout my time with my group.  When people become quiet for even a couple seconds, I worry that I will instantly jump in and try striking up a new topic to discuss.  I know myself too well to think anything else would happen--when I first meet new people, and am nervous about making a good impression and putting them at ease, I tend to speak too much.  

This isn't what I want.  Ideally, I would like to let silence hang for a little bit (perhaps eight seconds) so members of the group can have a moment to think and determine how they want to express what is going through their heads.  My hope is that during my first session, I won't be an overbearing facilitator; I would like for each individual in the group to feel that they dictate the conversations we will have as much anyone else.  

That being said, I do have some auxiliary plans in mind, just in case the first session's conversation doesn't flow organically and we have silences stretching beyond their usefulness.  I'd like for members to introduce themselves and get to know one another.  My hope is that prompting conversations about areas of study, or reasons for coming to UM, might encourage some further, less prompted conversation.  I would also like to ask members to share what their favorite place or thing to do in Ann Arbor is, as I feel this could be a good way to get an idea about places we could visit during our sessions, and could also help introduce all of us to new activities we've never done before.  Again, it would be great if these sorts of discussion helped put group members at ease with one another and made them realize some hobbies or interests they have in common.  In time, I'm hoping that our discussions will flow freely, silences won't feel burdensome, everyone will feel comfortable with one another--and though I'm sure this won't all come on day one, I'm think our first session will be a good opportunity to plant the seeds that will lead to this later on.