Blog Post #6

I think it has been a very rewarding experience to be a part of Chat Café. This was a very new endeavor for me and I am glad that I did it. While it was initially difficult to integrate all my participants and have them attend the sessions, I slowly developed a relationship with them. By taking them out to dinner and enjoying in good food, we bonded on a more deeper level. We were able to discuss similarities and behave as friends, which I believe is my greatest accomplishment with the Chat Café. I am proud to have been able to interact with my participants and provide them with a better understanding of the American lifestyle. I hope I improved their communication skills and made them feel comfortable and welcomed in the campus community.

If I had to do it all over again, I would conduct our sessions in more casual setting from the beginning of the semester. Earlier, we had been meeting in study rooms at the Ross School of Business and I realized that it was too formal of a setting. It made it seem more like a classroom lecture and less of a casual discussion. When we decide to travel and have activities outside of that setting and go to restaurants, my participants opened up more and discussed their interests and hobbies more. I realized that light-hearted environments proved more beneficial to having true Chat Café sessions with my students.

Overall, the most crucial quality that I have learned as a facilitator is patience. It is very important to maintain a certain degree of tolerance, especially in group settings where everyone communicates differently and has undergone a variety of experiences that have shaped their diverse perspectives. For that reason, not everyone thinks the same way or interprets conversations in a similar manner. I learned to be patient and calmly listen to my participants. I personally enjoy talking but by allowing my students to do most of the talking, I learned to accept their viewpoints open-mindedly and help them accordingly. Going forward, I hope to continue this next semester. In the end, I feel that I have experienced an interesting journey that had its ups and downs; nonetheless, I was satisfied with the outcome and hope that I was able to do good for my participants. It was a wonderful learning experience that I will always treasure as a memorable aspect of my college journey.

Blog #6 Thats all folks!!

  So next week is my last chat cafe with the group. I am so grateful to Sweetland for giving me this opportunity to be a part of this class and facilitate sessions for international students. Not only did I meet a great bunch of people, I got to learn so much from each respective culture whilst enlightening them with my own. I have even prepared an anonymous feedback form in advance so that I can send it to those who had 70% attendance. Given I will be facilitating again next year, I need to know whether I did an adequate job of being a facilitator and whether I had any shortcomings.

  I will say that from my first attempt at being a facilitator till now, I have changed my style of conducting dramatically. The first meeting consisted of my group member introducing themselves while I made an 'inconspicuous' attempt at noting down their incorrect usage or mispronunciation, mind you that they had no issues whatsoever. Even before the session was held, I had sent out a form asking which part of English they wanted to me focus on and how should I give them feedback. With that, I was already violating the main principle of leading a chat cafe - not to treat it as a class. It took me a while to realize that I was overdoing things a bit and that reflected negatively when I sent out a passive-aggressive email to the group when the attendance was low one time. Ever since then, I have let loose and made my sessions more relaxed and dynamic in terms of discussion. I am fortunate that I had all my members attend enough sessions so none of them had to be taken off the list.

  One thing that lacked in my group was that there wasn't a great level of camaraderie that I hope to achieve. I am not sure whether the sporadic attendance of individual member was the problem or that I suck at facilitating an all guy group. They weren't any hostilities between members from what I had observed which I think is good. I hope my group in the next semester would be more engaging in terms of knowing each other better than me trying to do that every session.

  For the future facilitators, all I would say that don't turn a one hour chat session into an ESL class. Although chat cafe is where one can practice English, it should not be done by keeping a constant check on different linguistic aspects of the language. Chat cafe is informal and casual and should be reflected by the facilitators attempt to make so. Have topics prepared but wait until there aren't any initial voices raised by the members. Be open minded, be tolerant and definitely be ENTHUSIASTIC! I wouldn't want to attend an event if the host looks unhappy and remains like that the whole time while I am there.

  Ohhh I am done now right ? I shall take my leave and wish all the future facilitators (and my peers reading this) the best of luck and may our paths cross at some point....till May 2016 I mean (Imma getting the falafel out of here after graduation).

Blog Post #6

Looking back on the semester as it comes to an end, I'm so glad I chose to participate in Chat Cafe. I came into this program wanting to make new friends and learn a bit about cultures other than my own and I achieved both of those goals. Also, I FINALLY achieved my dream of showing my group the Legend of Korra during our meeting last week, except only one person came, which has never happened before, so that was a little sad. But, because of my overall positive experiences with my group, I really couldn’t be too upset about it.

I don’t think I’d change much in terms of the way I approached Chat Cafe and planning my meetings. I let everything about the program come naturally to me—I never planned out conversation topics and didn’t stress much about where to meet. The result was a very organic friendship between me and my four members that makes these feel more like designating catching-up time rather than a mandated meeting. I feel very fortunate to have gotten a group with members who were generally respectful about letting me know when they had to miss some Chat Cafes, and I wish everyone in our class had had the same experience.

That being said, however, I don’t think a many-membered cafe always equates to a good one. When I met with Sofie and Heather, her most consistent conversation circle member, we had a great conversation about school and language and life after college. Even though it was just the three of us, time flew and I felt like we had a really good time together. It just goes to show that this program is about the strength of the bonds you build more than it’s about the amount you get to make. 

I’m pretty sure that, schedule permitting, I’ll be participating in Chat Cafe again next semester. It’s such a wonderful experience and I truly want to continue making new connections with people and learning more about the experiences and backgrounds that make them who they are. I’m quite sad that I’ve only got one meeting left with my group, but I’m confident it’ll be a memorable one. 

Blog Post 6

I can't believe the final weeks of the semester are already here! Only two more weeks of chat café? I'm going to be sad when it's over and I'll probably only see my other chat café members when we randomly run into each other in the diag or at the library.

Last week my chat group ended up doing some things a little differently. We watched a movie! This was something we'd talked about doing for almost the whole semester since we'd so often found ourselves talking about movies and tv. So I thought what better time than right before break to do something a little special. I also said that I would bring in some sandwiches that I thought were a pretty good example of thanksgiving fare so they could try it and then they all said they wanted to bring food too! So we ended up having sandwiches and some sweet Chinese dumplings and pudding and some Japanese fried balls (I can't remember the name but they were so good!) and cookies! We set in a class room in East Quad and projected the movie on the screen and ate and watched and of course chatted. Since we were watching a movie it was less talking than usual but I set the tone early on that it was completely acceptable to talk during the movie so we all would comment on funny parts or they would ask about something they didn't understand (like the phrase, "I'm bushed," to mean I'm tired) and I tried, maybe a little unsuccessfully to explain the deal with Kevin Bacon and the six degrees of separation thing. We watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles which was fitting since it was about getting home for Thanksgiving and I was pleasantly surprised that one of my members who comes less often and whose English is a little below the level of the other reached out to me to say how much he enjoyed the movie and to ask again what the title was.

Some final chat café thoughts:

1. The importance of going with the flow. I saw this in the final thoughts of some other people too which I think just goes to show how important it is. Don't freak out! Things will be fine. Come with some back up topics but don't feel like it's necessary to stick with them. Let conversations flow naturally because in the end I think that is a lot more enjoyable than making everything really structured. It'll help you get to know your members better too!

2. Multicultural conversations can come out of almost any topic. Remember this and use it whenever. No matter what you're talking about you can relate it back to similarities and difference between your respective cultures.

3. It's important to remember you're just a student and they're just students aka your group members are your peers! It's a lot better to treat them like friends and classmates rather than your students, because they're not! I think chat cafés work best with relationships among equals rather than creating a hierarchal relationship.

Blog Post 6

            My experience as a facilitator this semester has not at all been what I was expecting.  I never had a full group meeting and by the end of October, only one girl was coming in spite of my enthusiastic (and increasingly pathetic) reminder emails every Sunday evening.  The most frustrating part was that no one bothered to tell me that they couldn’t make it.  One week, when Heather couldn’t come because she had to go to her professor’s office hours, I sat in the Union by myself for an hour.  This was the low point.  But looking back, there were many, many high points.

            Undoubtedly, the best moment in Chat Café this semester was when Heather came to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving.  We had been talking about American holidays in general and she was telling me that she didn’t have any plans for Thanksgiving, so I invited her to come over and see what it’s like for herself.  Her face just lit up.  She was very polite to my parents and she was really interested in all of the food. We compared Thanksgiving to Mid-Autumn Festival in China since they are both holidays that impose one kind of food on everyone (turkey and moon cakes).  She met everyone who came over to eat and so she got to talk to a lot of new people.  It was so funny to see how interested she was in the food.  The only time she’d had turkey was in sandwich meat form in the dining hall and she’d never had squash or cranberry sauce before.  She took pictures of everything.  I’m really glad that she was able to come.

            My experience with Chat Café was never what I thought it would be (seven people getting to know each other for an hour a week) but that does not mean that it wasn’t meaningful.  I learned so many things I didn’t know about China.  I realized that every email I ignore is the result of someone’s hard work.  I made a friend.

            Even so, if I were going to do this over again, I would change a few things.  I think that I should have been clearer about the fact that I expected them to show up. I almost wish that there were some sort of policy about how you can only miss 2 or 3 meetings unless you have a really good excuse.  I know that this this might make it feel more like a class, but the clubs I’m in here at Michigan all expect their members to attend a certain number of meetings and I think that’s only fair.  I would also think about creating some sort of survey for the participants to fill out before the first meeting about what they want from Chat Café.  It might have been a good idea to get everyone’s phone number and make a group message the first week because I think that emailing is more impersonal and easier to ignore. 

            There are also some things I wouldn’t change about how I ran my group.  One example is that I didn’t choose a conversation topic for each week, but instead just talked about whatever was going on.  I also liked changing up what we did every week while still keeping the meeting place consistent.  We always met on the steps of the Union and from there we walked to several places around town including Zingerman’s, the Natural History Museum and Comet Coffee.  It’s really cool to be able to talk about where you like to drink coffee one week and then spontaneously decide to go there the next week.  I think at the beginning it was really nice for me to be able to bring a deck of cards or some sort of backup plan in case the conversation got really awkward, but I never had to use it.  I also enjoyed the outdoor sessions where we sat in the grass on the Diag before it got cold. 

            Despite some frustration, I would say that this has been a very rewarding experience and I would do it again.  I think the best piece of advice I can give is to be flexible and open to the very real possibility that this probably will not be what you were expecting.  But maybe it will be even better!  

Blog 6: Potluck and farewell

Yes, the ever-awaited potluck finally arrived to my Chat Café last week! I made Cheesy Potato Casserole, one of my personally favorite comfort foods especially when there's cold weather outside. Other dishes brought by my group members included dumplings, chicken floss, Taro balls (still not totally sure what these are, but they were tasty!), and millet gruel. Over dinner, we talked about plans after graduation, Thanksgiving break, and the upcoming end to the fall semester. I think the potluck went really well. The food was great, the conversation was even better, and it was a nice change from the ordinary flow of the circle. My only regret was not taking more pictures...

I cannot believe the semester is almost over, and with it, my experience as a Chat Café facilitator. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was anxious about leading the first circle back in September. Of course now, all of those nerves seem silly in retrospect. Especially since I have learned so much by being a facilitator:

1. It's OK when circles don't go exactly as planned. One time, I had asked all members to bring in a current event to talk about during the circle. However, once I asked what people had brought in, it seemed like people had forgotten about the "assignment" and were bashful to speak up. So, the conversation turned into one about China's repeal of the one-child policy, and I learned a lot while also offering my own perspective as an American who has never lived under anything like that federal policy.
2. Some weeks won't always be as dynamic as others. Some conversations provoked thought and required very little facilitation by me; other times, I felt like I was throwing out conversation topics every two minutes. These situations are the very nature of human discourse though. Sometimes, talking with other people isn't always the most exciting thing, especially since everyone brings their own range of moods, emotions, and attitudes into each interaction. While we are to provide Chat Café with a space to practice conversational English and we should strive to make these spaces dynamic, sometimes it's just too unpredictable to know for certain.
3. The international student experience is truly a unique one that spans across all dimensions of student life. This is the first time I've worked with international students for an extended period of time, so I've learned a lot about how their life is so different from other students here on campus. 

If you are reading this as a potential Chat Café facilitator or you are preparing to lead your first group in a couple of weeks, get ready to have a wonderful experience. It certainly won't always be roses and you may face some obstacles, such as attendance or participation, but I am sure you will learn a lot and grow. Good luck!

Turkeyday Inspired Blog Post #5

Shout out to Jessica for an awesome idea: we did Thanksgiving Day themed activities in my group this week!

Yes. I brought crayons and made my participants draw hand-Turkeys! I think my group is super artsy, and they have amazing little turkeys. I also LOVE the fact that one of them says "I am thankful for Chat Cafe. I [met] nice people!!". How cute.

We spent a majority of the time talking about different national holidays everyone experiences back home and how we feel about US holidays. Something I did not really expect was that we then transitioned into how religion is integrated (or not!) into our home countries. Without too much detail, we kind of covered how there seems to be a universal slide away from religion in Europe, Asia, and the US. (Clearly, the four of us is not a comprehensive sample, but it was something we felt was happening to matter where we were.)

In response to one of the suggested topics: Through your group's conversations, have you come to understand anything new or unexpected about specific challenges faced by international students at the university?

The biggest issue my participants have verbalized often was the fact that they cannot find quality home-like food. Since eating is such a social event, I also see it as how they don't have access to a community of people who share their heritage with food. It's a minor problem to have-- they do say they like the food they've had though! But, I see how it can be an extreme bummer to not be able to enjoy home-like comforts for a solid year. I don't think the University has a solution for this. It just is what it is. :(