Blog Post #6

The end is imminent, and as trite as it may sound, I really am surprised by how quickly this semester and my time as a Chat Cafe facilitator have gone by.  During my last session, as I reminded my group that we wouldn't meet this week due to Thanksgiving, I realized that we only have two sessions left.  Two!  How did time slip by so quickly?

I'm a regrets kind of person--I have them about almost everything, and think a lot in terms of "what ifs" and "what could have beens."  Upon reflecting on my time as a facilitator, however, I've found that I have no major regrets from the experience.  No, things often didn't go perfectly--some sessions were awkward, many of my strategies and attempts to break the ice between group members futile--but I realize that the goal of Chat Cafe was never really to have consistently perfect meetings.  The program is based in and relies on people, which makes it inherently subject to the quirks and roadblocks of person-to-person interaction.  Sometimes there's silence.  Sometimes there's confusion. Sometimes there's awkwardness.  Communication is not always ideal, but therein lies the opportunity for students to become more comfortable with how to navigate conversations in effective ways, especially in a second language.  

As our weekly sessions went on, I found that my group members seemed to become more and more confident and comfortable in their English communication.  They dwelled less on their mistakes and seemed to take increasing pride in their successes, which made them more open to engaging with one another frankly.  This in turn led to better conversations and more authentic bonds (and maybe even friendships?  Some of my group members exchanged numbers and added one another on Facebook!) between members.

Our most recent session, in particular, seemed to serve as a culmination of all the progress we've made as a group during the semester--the group split into two pairs, which I floated between.  Each pair was united in conversation about something both members found interesting--Hohyun and Qianli discussed basketball, while Camille and Tim tried to determine whether Universal Studios or Disneyworld was Orlando's best amusement park (I was more heavily involved in the latter conversation, because of my love for Harry Potter World).  Then the group rejoined in a larger discussion about multilingualism and the difference between Chinese dialects, and then halted conversation for a couple minutes to together watch a squirrel jump from tree to tree.  Then, organically and without my prompting, the group split into pairs again, once more talking about things they had learned over the semester their conversation partner would find interesting.

It's meetings like these that make the stagnant sessions of the beginning of the semester seem to have been worth it.  I feel that we needed those first few weeks to adjust and grow comfortable with one another--only after kicking some of our anxieties were we able to engage in real conversation that felt natural and was (hopefully) helpful.  One of the most valuable lessons I'll take from Chat Cafe is to allow things time to grow and develop naturally.  I've long been the kind of person that feels antsy when things don't go right immediately--it's normally been hard for me to have faith that things will work themselves out and get where they need to go.  Chat Cafe has proven to me, however, that waiting can be rewarded, especially in situations that can't be forced (as in those involving large groups of strangers).

To future Chat Cafe facilitators, I would advise this: be patient, and allow your group to develop at its own pace.  Yes, it would be great if we could overcome the tension and nervousness inherent to a group like this at out first session (I'm working on that for my capstone project!), but don't bank on that being the case.  It's okay--and, honestly, probably a good thing--for things to be a bit slow at first.  That's how both friendships and communication develop.  In time, your group will become more loquacious, and your students will hopefully become increasingly confident in their English speaking.  That, at least, has been my experience.  I'm immensely glad to have joined Chat Cafe this semester, both because I hope I helped my group members become more comfortable with their English and with life in Ann Arbor, and because it helped me become a better and more sympathetic conversationalist and person.