Chat Cafe End-of-Semester Update

On Friday, at our Chat Cafe session, a member of my group, Jinyu, asked if we could take a picture before going our separate ways.

This request--one that might seem simple or insignificant to someone else--meant a lot to me.  Jinyu wasn't prompted or egged on by me to commemorate our group's last meeting--instead, the idea was entirely hers, one that indicated to me that Chat Cafe meant something to her this semester.

My hope, of course, is that it meant something as well to other members of our group.  We had a solid 5 throughout most of the semester, and thankfully there was a great deal of chemistry within our group.  Jinyu, Xiwen, and Yang were all from Beijing, and bonded over that shared experience; Adam and Jinyu both had transferred from other universities, and were able to share perspective on the best way to navigate through UM; Xiwen and Yang loved to talk about the places they hoped to travel one day.  Conversations flowed freely through most of our sessions, which would often continue beyond our allotted time (which was fine by me--the discussions were fascinating!).

I hesitate, some, in making comparisons between my two Chat Cafe groups; both were great, in their own ways, and I feel very lucky to have had groups that both remained pretty committed to coming to sessions.  But I would say that this group probably had a greater interest in getting to know one another, whereas the last group probably was more interested in getting my insights about UM and America.  I noticed that this semester, many more conversations took place between pairs in a group, rather than with me at the center of them.  Whether this was because I was a better facilitator this time around or because of a difference in what my group members hoped to gain from Chat Cafe, I don't know.

I do know, however, that I appreciate the way things went this semester.  One of the things I've heard most often while facilitating is how isolating and lonely being an international student at UM can be.  Students have told me about how they worry about talking to their American roommates because of a language barrier, how lectures require them to translate the material from English to Mandarin, and then comprehend its academic meaning, how much they miss their families and their homes and their pets.  Watching the people in my group become friends this semester--I know several of them are friends on Facebook, and that a couple have gone to dinner with one another outside of our group--makes me hope that Chat Cafe might have made the experience at UM a little less lonely.  Beyond giving students the opportunity to practice their conversational English, I think the real value in Chat Cafe is how it gives international students the chance to feel like they are part of a community.

I'm sad to know that my time as a Chat Cafe facilitator has come to an end.  I'm happy, however, to have seen firsthand the way this program can create a stronger network of international students, and hopefully make their experience at UM better.  I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to take part in Chat Cafe, and am sure the program will continue to do great things in the future.

Chat Cafe: Part Deux

Before I talk about my experience as a second-time Chat Facilitator I would like to acknowledge why it is I signed up for round 2. After the first semester, although I spent a lot of time getting to know my participants, I felt as though I could better job at not only facilitating conversations but also creating relationships between the participants and myself. Also, this summer I will be going to India to facilitate a class of international students as they journey around the country, so I thought practicing and improving my facilitating skills would be beneficial to my summer internship.  So, from day one of “Chat Café Part Deuxs” I have had the active goal to use my experience from last semester to create a better learning platform for both my participants and myself.  That being said, this semester is completely different from my last semester. Last semester I had a regular group of 5 or 6 participants, this semester I have had a regular group of 3. Most of the time all 3 participants show up, however, there have been sessions with just 2 participants and on occasion, I have even gotten to experience a 1 on 1 session.  Another change from last semester to this semester is the rooming situation. Last semester my group only wanted to meet in one location for the whole semester, however, this semester, my participants have expressed interest in moving around campus each week for sessions. The first handful of weeks we moved from lounge to lounge around campus. This was a challenge for me. Each week I had to find the different lounge with the right environment to host a chat group. Eventually, I realized that I could reserve study rooms at the Shapiro library. The group loved the reserved room so much we just reserve a different room in Shapiro each week.

The main difference in my style from last semester to this semester is that I am much more flexible with my sessions now. Last semester I would try to come up with themes each week to generate topics. These themes ended up trapping the conversation and stunted natural conversation. This semester I come to each meeting with little to no preparation. Sometimes I will bring articles from the Michigan Daily in and we will talk about the general idea of the article, however, the article serves as a jumping off point for the conversation, not the main topic. One strategy I have used in both semesters is starting the meeting off with roses and thorns, basically, each member says something good about their week, ad something bad about their week. I usually use topics brought up from roses and thorns as jumping off points for the conversation. I just started using table topics in my facilitation as well. I learned about table topics from my time with a public speaking club called toastmasters. The idea of table topics is that a speaker is given a question like “talk about a time someone was nice to you, how did it make you feel?” then the speaker gives a quick speech for 30-60 seconds. After the speech, the person sitting on the left of the speaker give a constructive comment and the person on the right gives a compliment. I’ve adopted table topics to my group after asking them if they would be interested in that exercise. This week was the first implementation of table topics and my group really enjoyed it.

Apart from the small differences in my facilitating style, I would say the biggest difference is that I constantly seek feedback from my participants this semester. Usually, in the last 5 minutes of the meeting, I’ll ask my group if there is anything that I could do better or if they have any suggestions for next session. This constant feedback from my group has allowed me to try new techniques as well as improve my overall skillset as a facilitator.

Overall I was really on the edge about signing up for a second round of Chat Café, however, this semester has been really rewarding so far and I can't wait to see how both my group members and I grow. 

Chat Cafe: Winter Edition

I was pretty nervous about starting Chat Cafe again this semester.  My group from last fall had set the bar high--they were terrific, active participants who, by December, I considered to be friends.  So, naturally, I figured things would even out and I might not have such a great experience this time (eternal pessimist--isn't it charming?).  Boy, was I wrong.

My first two sessions of the semester were a tad unorthodox--at the first, three of the six people signed up for the group came, and at the second, the other three came (no one from the first session was able to attend).  Although initially dismayed by this (only two weeks in, and already half of the group can't make it--eek!), I realize in retrospect that this split, smaller group accident actually laid some really nice groundwork for us.  At those first two sessions, there was a degree of intimacy that can be difficult to establish in a group of seven in which no one knows each other.  Conversation flowed easily, we broke into pairs naturally and then came back together as a single group, and everyone became familiar with other people really quickly.  This was one of the things I was hoping would happen with the board game I created for my capstone project last semester--group members would become comfortable with just one other person, which would hopefully set them at ease with the group as a whole.  (To my slight disappointment, though, we didn't actually play the board game itself--I asked about it at the first two sessions, but no one really seemed interested, and because things were going well otherwise, I figured there was no reason to push.)

After these initial sessions, we've had pretty much full attendance--and like I hoped, the familiarity created in those first two meetings have really helped the group mesh as one.  Members are really talkative in this group, which I love--we've actually already had some really interesting discussions about Mandarin, the layout/architecture of Chinese cities, and Spring Festival.  It's interesting to me that this group seems to be a bit more open to talking about their lives before college than my previous one was--last semester, most discussions centered around life at UM and in the US, but this semester has had a bit broader reach.  I like that my two semesters facilitating have given a mix of discussion topics, because I feel that I've both been able to help familiarize students with some of the idiosyncrasies of American life and learned from them more about the world at large.

I'm looking forward to seeing what happens this semester--my gut tells me things are going to go well.  This group has great chemistry, and I love that I've gotten better at letting conversations flow where they will, rather than where I want them to go.  Last semester, Chat Cafe became a bright spot at the end of my week that helped pull me through school and work, and I have no reason to think it won't continue to be that.  It's exciting to spend time with my group, and I can't wait to see what conversations unfold in the coming weeks.

Chat Cafe Check-in

My chat cafe this semester has been a very easy going group! We've had a few late adds and so there will presumably be new people at our meeting this week. It will be interesting to see how this changes the dynamic, but we had a late add earlier in the semester and it was very easy to incorporate him into our dynamic. Everyone is pretty open and comfortable so I haven't had much difficulty making sure everyone talks. We've talked mostly about school and food and I've tried to keep them updated on my favorite events on campus like UMMA After Hours (one this Friday 5-8!).

I've gone to restaurants with my groups in the past but I think cost-wise it might not be as feasible with this group. Instead I'm thinking I'll do some sort of pot-luck movie night in an open classroom which I've done in the past. Several group members mentioned they liked baking brownies, so maybe a brownie night! Since we meet after museums and such are closed I've been thinking about other activities we can do instead and I did card games a few times which I might try again or a day where we play games like 2 truths and a lie or 20 questions which worked nicely the other times I've done them. I also told them about the Wellness Zone in CAPS in the Union which is open until 7 so I might take them there to try out the massage chairs which are so nice!

All and all it's shaping up to be another great semester!

I am very surprised at how  talkative my chat cafe group was this semester. Usually, it is the grad students in my conversation circle that will direct questions at me and keep the conversation going. For chat cafe, I usually have to come up with activities to break the ice. However, my activity for this conversation circle has been pushed off many weeks already because the members have been bringing up conversation topics. One member is especially talkative and has been texting me questions about courses and asking for advice, but he has not been taking over the group. His English is on the more advanced side which I think is because of his extroverted nature, but he always waits for those who speak slower and tries to help those whose English skills are not as fluent to help others comprehend. The only problem is that he texts me in Chinese and sometimes my Chinese is not good enough to keep up with him but I am trying to accommodate to him. I respond to his texts in English but I do not feel the need to make him text me in English because I am sure he reads a lot of English for his classes and the point of chat cafe is to help for conversation.
Our meeting place is in a reserved room in East Hall, and I'm not sure if it feels too much like a class or if the meeting room is a good idea. I know it can feel lie a class at first, but I really like having a private place because I feel like it is a safer place because they know no one else can listen in on the conversation. In addition, we can play silly games without having outsiders look at us. Last semester, I had a bigger room where it would have been inconvenient to sit at the chairs around the table because there were so many tables pushed together for one big table. At first I moved the tables but that made the room feel cramped and weird to be surrounded by tables so then I had them just sit on the tables and make that the new floor, but this semester the room is smaller and it feels cozier.
Overall, I am very happy with my chat cafe group this semester and I hope we continue to have good conversations with the topics that the members bring up.

Blog Post 6

With the blog posting coming to a close and the final Chat Café session drawing closer I believe it’s time for some well-deserved reflection.  Reading through my first blog post I remember the nervous state I was in at the time. Looking back its almost comical to think I was that nervous for something that ended up being so natural. I still remember drafting that first email, constantly deleting and retyping words to find the perfect sentence and make a memorable first impression (or at least not mess it up). The first meeting with my group was good but I could tell everyone was nervous and reserved. The most notable member of the group at the time was a named Alila. She was by far the most reserved participant. She was very soft-spoken and barley made eye contact when she talked to the other members. One of the major successes of Chat Café, at least for me, was to watch her develop. Each meeting she would talk more and more and become generally more confident with her conversation skills. I was astounded when she came into a meeting and began talking right away with everybody and lead the conversation. To watch her, as well as the other members, develop their conversational skills over one semester was truly a gratifying moment.

If I could go back in time and give myself one piece of advice I would tell myself calm down and do less preparation for each meeting. I feel as though the weeks where I did the most preparation where the weeks that felt the most unnatural. The whole point of Chat Café was to help international students prepare for natural conversation. You can’t plan natural.

Chat Café has allowed me to expand a wide myriad of my facilitation and conversation skills. This summer I will be working with a Canadian International School in India and I plan to apply my experiences from Chat Café to working with international middle schoolers in India. One of the most helpful skills I honed will doing Chat Café was how to direct a conversation so everyone participates equally. While interviewing with the Canadian International School they told me one of my responsibilities would be to ensure that all students are involved equally in the various activities of the school. I plan to use my skill of conversation directing to help shy students break out of their shell in India.

With my final blog post I would like to thank Scott for being such a helpful resource during this process. I would also like to thank all my classmates for being so open during our discussion sessions to help create a dynamic and memorable dialogue. Thank You!

Blog Post 6 - Reflections

I sincerely cannot believe that next week is the last time I'm meeting with these amazing groups of people. I've had so much fun doing this and it was pretty unforgettable. Looking back, I honestly feel quite accomplished over the bonds that have grown out of these conversations and the real intercultural exchange that has grown out of the topics we've covered.

Some of my favorite moments from this semester largely come from the conversations that I never would have predicted having with others. Like the time my participants debated the merits and downsides of ethnic enclaves, or the time someone taught me all about the Korean film industry, or when the whole group banded together to explain to me how driving permits and license plates work in large cities in Eastern Asia; sometimes, I felt like the one who benefited the most from all of this was me based on how much interesting stories and information I got out of it.

That said, if I could go back and do it over, there are certainly things that I would change. There are some small logistical things that I would change, such as emphasizing how important it is to show up and be engaged, and also putting more focus on the conversation being more self-directed; I never really felt like I accomplished the right balance of me speaking or explaining or posing questions as compared to everyone else doing these things. 

Moving forward though, there are so many useful skills that can be drawn from this experience. For me specifically, I am considering a career in journalism more seriously than ever and asking pointed, open-ended, engaging questions that lead to thought provoking answers is a huge skill to have in interviews. This entire experience definitely helped me develop that ability as I pushed my participants to keep talking, tell me more, and look at things from different angles. 

In the end, I'm just so, so glad I did this!! That's the real takeaway here.